I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
