So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
