She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize