sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
