youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
