wat bout pragnant strippers??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
