Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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