i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
