After last night, I could never be a politician.
My pussy is not your playground.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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