i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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