The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
