as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
