There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
