Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
