Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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