They should really pass out barf bags in church
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
