I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
