My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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