it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
