After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
