My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
