i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
