I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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