What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
