I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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