I hate your face
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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