Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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