Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
