I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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