At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
