you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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