i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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