Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
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