I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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