Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
