I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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