idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
