Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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