Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
