drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
