We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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