..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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