And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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