i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
