What a fucking waste of an outfit
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
