Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
