You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
