I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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