In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
