That's intense
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Randomize
